December 04, 2023

The alchemical tension between control and spontaneity.

The alchemical tension between control and spontaneity.

I've always loved things that straddle the worlds of both technical precision and wholehearted spontaneity. When things are too measured and straight, too exact, it's like my body goes to sleep and numbs out, a bit like how we might feel in an in an airport. It's functional, and I appreciate what it's for, but it's not enlivening.

Similarly, when there's too much abandon and disregard for form, things seem dishevelled and uncared for.

Some art has been created to communicate something important, a point we need to know about, a moment in time culturally that the artist wanted intentionally for us to see and remember. Some artwork is political, some is conceptual. There is no end to the variety of communication. I've always been drawn to the heart of things. The spirit. An old oak table covered in marks from families and friends over a hundred years, these things speak to me, plastic just doesn't.

It doesn't matter how many interiors magazines I see them doing great things with plastic, I'm not their customer. It's too clean, I don't feel relaxed.

People often doubt their artistic expression because they've been shown so much art and design that is highly strategic and considered, highly marketed, and everyone is supposed to agree to its value in the world. When people then attempt to coax something into being that comes from within, it seems like it doesn't measure up.

I feel we fear the dishevelled at this point in time, but there may and I'm sure have been times where people feared order and structure. In terms of the emotional landscape I see, I witness people incredibly held together, almost like they're gasping for air, holding...it...all. We are at an all time high in mental health crisis world wide, so I feel my role right now, as we all have a role, is to encourage a wider emotional range. I advocate for messy feelings and will always remind you that being human is a wild ride, you might as well feel all the wild textures.

I spoke with a lovely man recently who was telling me about his girlfriend's growing jewellery business, her work is very beautiful, and I offered my cheer and enthusiasm. He told me he's trying to get her to work directly into the wax, but that she prefers to sketch the design before she attempts to realise it in wax, and later metal.

I truly don't believe that either way is superior of inferior. Both are important. I think it's good to know which one we naturally lean more towards so that we can support our artistic practice, as well as ourselves in our lives in general.

Do you fear the spontaneity of direct work? Improvisation? Or perhaps the thought of planning scares you? I am the latter ! This isn't an opportunity to judge ourselves, more a measuring stick to see what could use some nourishment.

The artistic path is holding the tension between the duality of control and spontaneity, and not trying to neaten it. We have to be able to hold the big energy required of us. The uncertainty is electric and will keep us awake at night, there will be tears shed and there will be so many hum drum boring days we will be brought to our knees. And then, if we can relax, something might shift and a felt sense of full body pleasure will be all that is happening. Mmmm, that's good. Then, anxiety will come, then ideas, then another project and on and on and on.

There is nowhere to land and no place that will be final, which is why holding the tension between the extremes is the initiation that brings the goods.

If you, dear one reading this, are stuck in your life, or with your creative practice, I offer you this to consider.

Bring to mind the most challenging edge in your life right now, a relationship, a situation, an addiction you're struggling with, and then bring to mind the thing that feels the most in flow, the most natural and spontaneous. Now, consider that they are merely the two furthest poles of your experience. This rich, vast, varied human experience.

Do you have a secret feeling that life will be all good once the challenge stops? Once that is sorted out then you'll be able to be in flow?

Well, this isn't the case.

(Please note, I'm referring to every day life challenges here, I'm not referring to situations of harm or abuse or anything else that would require our immediate attention)

So, bringing this back to our creative practice, and making it frankly juicier, more embodied and part of our integrated and emotionally intelligent human experience, here's how this relates...

We have been conditioned to view our lives both internally and externally in terms of all the grit having been neatened out. This means that we UNCONSCIOUSLY attribute challenging emotions and psychic material as FAILURE and that we're not thriving. This couldn't be further from the truth. The more energy there is, the more energy there is. Emotions aren't good or bad, they're energy.

The most integrated people are those who aren't afraid of their own pain, and I would say pleasure. Those who are willing to go to the underworld of their own experience and find those gold coins, that those who know how to see them will see them. The trick, is coming back from the intensity, from the high, or the low, and using the wisdom of the experience in our lives.

Consider again the two poles of contrasting experience. There is also the space between, which isn't really space at all, not in the sense that it's void.

The problem is, we continuously skirt around our own pain and discomfort because we feel ill equipped to hold the tension of it in our lives as well as everything else we have to do, right? Healing is a full time job!

When we suppress one feeling we suppress FEELING. Given that art making is a direct result of internally experienced material, as wonderfully mundane as the natural inspiration of being alive, or as deeply challenging as feeling through and integrating deep grief and loss... feeling is paramount.

So the first challenge is that we believe we have to be 'put together' both physically and emotionally all the time, which is, well, not very interesting, is it, really?

This means we deny, suppress or project emotions that fall outside of such a limited scope that we've set for ourselves. This is what I think of when I see little girls in lovely dresses that aren't allowed to get dirty or jump in puddles...because they have to look neat. For the internal world, that's a disaster. The deep realms of the wild galactic soul care not for money in the bank, how things look or what our opinions are, they're operating with much more fiery material than all that.

The second challenge then, is that when we try to pursue a creative challenge or project, there are so many emotions we've been blocking off for years. These are mostly frustration, grief, anger and fear, but could manifest in any number of ways.

When these emotions arise, as they will, we would rather procrastinate, because the ' feeling and busting through frustration' muscle is weak. The 'my work is crap compared to other peoples work on Instagram' feeling is too much to feel through, so there's temptation to stop, and get distracted.

The more we feel the uncomfortable emotions that come up when we make creative work, the better we become at letting them be.

Dear one reading this, please know that if you have feelings of unworthiness or insecurity around your work, this is absolutely normal. Try to hold them in the way you would hold the feelings of an upset child. They are simply what is there. They will move in a few moments if you let yourself feel them.

I should also say, that if the feelings of unworthiness are due to a legitimate lack of skill, well then take some lessons, get skilled. Either way - do something.

This will help clear the channels so that more sensation, emotion and embodiment will come through, and this will of course include your desires to create, your natural inspiration as your response to this life.

Dear one, what you have to offer is unique, it can't ever be replaced or copied, it is your medicine.

By allowing the two furthest poles of your experience to exist in their duality, as they are, we strengthen our capacity to hold energy, and to receive more. More will mean more, so that could very well include discomfort and pain, as we're feeling what was there all along but we couldn't let ourselves feel it. I am always finding new layers of grief as well as deeper layers of love and belonging, often in the same crisis ;)

It should be stressed, that you never need to feel these feelings alone if you aren't able to or don't want to. There are countless skilled magicians in the form of somatic therapists, psychotherapists and many other healers, so please find the support you need, so that you can embody more and more of this human experience, and if you feel moved to, to share your unique perspective in whatever form is your medicine.

With love,

Loren

1052 comments

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شركة تنظيف ستائر بالطائف March 09, 2026

Imagine becoming vastly wealthy overnight. Being a winner of a multi-million-dollar lottery is certainly a life-changing event for almost every single lottery winner. My name is Laura Benson from Chicopee, Massachusetts, the famous PowerBall lottery winner of $758 million (£591m) in 2017. I know many people would wonder how I had won the lottery. Would you believe me if I told you that I did it with spell casting? I met this famous spell caster known as Dr Isa, and he was the one who did it for me. As shocking as it was to me, I also want to encourage all those who need help to try their luck with Dr. Isa, who helped me win the lottery. I believe you’re still going to win with his help, too, just like he did for me. WhatsApp: +2347046030096 Email: drisaspellcaster@gmail.com Website: https://drisaspellcaster.wixsite.com/dr-isa

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It is a very hard situation when playing the lottery and never won, or keep winning low fund not up to 100 bucks, i have been a victim of such a tough life, the biggest fund i have ever won was 100 bucks, and i have been playing lottery for almost 11 years now, things suddenly change the moment i came across a secret online, a testimony of a spell caster called Dr.Isa who help people win in any type of lottery numbers, i was not easily convinced, but i decided to give a try, now i am a proud to be a lottery winner with the help of Dr.Isa spell, i won 2,000,000 Million dollars and i am making this known to everyone out there who have been trying all day to win the lottery, believe me this is the only way to win the lottery, this is the real secret we all have been searching for.
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Margaret Evelyn March 07, 2026

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Great chances to have your man back to you and your kids with the help of DR ISIKOLO.
My husband left me and our 2 kids for about 10 months. I went through a lot of pain. I tried everything possible to make him return back to me and to the kids but nothing worked out. It was really a stressful period for me because I never wanted to go through the heartbreak. i was told to get a love spell doctor contacted to help me out which i did i was lucky to get DR ISIKOLO Contact who was able to help me out, i contacted him and explained everything to him and complied with his procedures and he did the love reunion spell that brought back my husband to me and to his kids in 2 days. thanks so much DR ISIKOLO. I really appreciate what you have done for me. Here is his contact if you may required for it by solving your relationship problems, His page: https://isikolo-temple.com or as well text him via WhatsApp on +2348133261196

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Mike Reno March 03, 2026

I am very happy to share these great testimonies on how i won $64.000.000USD. The best thing that has ever happened in my life is how I won the lottery mega jackpot. I am a man who believes that one day I will win the lottery. Finally, my dreams came true when I emailed DR EMWANTA and told him I needed the lottery numbers. I have spent so much money on a ticket just to make sure I win. But I never knew that winning was so easy until the day I met the spell caster online which so many people have talked about that he is very great at casting lottery spells, so I decided to give it a try. I contacted this great Doctor and he did a spell and he gave me the winning lottery numbers. Believe me when the draws were out I was among winners. I won $64.000.000USD. DR EMWANTA truly you are the best, I am so very happy to meet this great man called DR EMWANTA, I will forever be grateful to you DR EMWANTA. contact him via his Email dremwanta@gmail.com or direct texting on WhatsApp via +1(504) 493-4932 Or Zangi 10-1579-8861

Linda Elliott March 03, 2026

i want to share to the whole world how Dr Masako the Great of all the Spell Caster, that helped me reunite my marriage back, my Ex Husband broke up with me 3months ago, I have been trying to get him back ever since then, i was worried and so confused because i love him so much. I was really going too depressed, he left me with my kids and just ignored me constantly. I have begged him for forgiveness through text messages for him to come back home and the kids crying and miss their dad but he wont reply, I wanted him back desperately. we were in a very good couple and yet he just ignores me and get on with his life just like that, so i was looking for help after reading a post of Dr Masako on the internet when i saw a lady name SHARRON testified that Dr Masako cast a Pure love spell to stop divorce. and i also met with other, it was about how he brought back her Ex lover in less than 24 hours at the end of her testimony she dropped his email, I contacted Dr Masako via email and explained my problem to Dr Masako and he told me what went wrong with my husband and how it happen, that he will restored my marriage back, and to my greatest surprise my Ex husband came back to me, and he apologized for his mistake, and for the pain he caused me and my children. Then from that day our marriage is now stronger than how it was before, Dr Masako you’re a real spell caster, you can also get your Ex back and live with him happily: Contact Email doctormasako@gmail.com or Call/whatsapp +2349047144277 Visit his Website: doctormasako2.wixsite.com/drmasakospelltemple

Anna joe March 02, 2026

I almost lost my marriage when I watched my wife turned into a total stranger and left the kids and I. I was so furious knowing I had done everything possible to ensure I sustained my marriage as a father and husband. The terrible fights we had traumatized me and I couldn’t function properly as a man. I kept on trying to find out what made her did what she did which made me contacted Dr Isikolo. I was surprised to have found out that she was under a huge manipulation from a man who wanted to ruin my marriage with her and take her away from me. Dr Isikolo had to intervene and fixed the problem thereby ensuring she was rescued from the claws of the dark magic charm they used on her. Knowing that I was able to get my family together again with the help of Dr Isikolo gives me joy and I am forever thankful to him. Review his page as contact him there: https://isikolo-temple.com or text him on WhatsApp +2348133261196

Teddy Marcelino March 02, 2026

Hello my name is Corie Johnson from USA I want to tell the world about the great and mighty spell caster called PRIEST ELIJAH my husband was cheating on me and no longer committed to me and our kids when I asked him what the problem was he told me he has fell out of love for me and wanted a divorce I was so heartbroken I cried all day and night but he left home I was looking for something online when I saw an article how the great and powerful PRIEST ELIJAH have helped so many in a similar situation like mine he email address was there so I sent him an email telling him about my problem he told me he shall return back to me within 24hrs I did everything he asked me to do the nest day to my greatest surprise my husband came back home and was crying and begging for me to forgive and accept him back he can also help you contact
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Corie Johnson March 02, 2026

Website: universalspellhelp.wixsite.com/priestelijah

Corie Johnson March 02, 2026

i am super excited this very moment indeed Dr Dominion is truly a good man, i doubted him from the beginning but right now i can trust him with my all because he has put a beautiful smile on my face and change my life from struggle to millionaire, what would i have done without him, just few months ago i was struggling wondering what would my life turn into, now i am here sharing a wonderful testimony of my life, after i explained my whole situation to him he took me as his own daughter and removed my family from shame, he prepared a lottery winning spell for me with true sincerity and gave me a winning number to play and that was how i won that jackpot, Dr Dominion took away my shame, my pain and my worries, what a humble man with a heart of gold, thank you so much i am very grateful for what you have done for me, should you have any interest in giving it a try or going through any difficulties i think he is the right man to talk to and i believe he can help

Email: dominionlottospelltemple@gmail.com
website: dominionlottospell.wixsite.com/dr-dominion
phone: +12059642462

Brookly Fab February 28, 2026

Please visit (http://dradodalovetemple.com) i am here to give testimony on how this powerful spell caster called Dr Adoda helped me to fix my relationship. i was heartbroken when my fiancee told me he is no longer interested in marrying me because he was having an affair with the other woman where he work. I cried and sobbed every day, until it got so bad that I reached out to the Internet for help, that was when i read a review about the great work of Dr Adoda, then i contacted him for help to get my lover back, he helped me cast a powerful (reconciliation love spell) and to my greatest surprise after 48 hours of doing the love spell my Fiancee came back on his knees begging me to forgive him We are now happily married and all thanks goes to Dr Adoda Wonders for helping me save my relationship you can contact Dr Adoda through his website http://dradodalovetemple.com for help.

Cyril Vivian February 27, 2026

I and my wife had a misunderstanding which led to a huge fight and she left home and returned back to her fathers house. I let my emotions got the best of me and stayed permanently away from her. Things grew worse when she started seeing another man and I never knew about it. I tried fixing the problem and getting her to return back home and she never came back. I later found out all that has been going on and decided to seek help to fix my marriage with her which made me contact Dr Isikolo. Just as expected he worked for me and the problem was fixed and I am reunited with my wife. She returned back home just after 48 hours as promised by Dr Isikolo. I am forever indebted to him for fixing the problem I had in my marriage. kindly contact him for fast and urgent Help, Go through his page: https://isikolo-temple.com or WhatsApp him on: +2348133261196

Andrew Beckett February 26, 2026

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