The alchemical tension between control and spontaneity.
The alchemical tension between control and spontaneity.
I've always loved things that straddle the worlds of both technical precision and wholehearted spontaneity. When things are too measured and straight, too exact, it's like my body goes to sleep and numbs out, a bit like how we might feel in an in an airport. It's functional, and I appreciate what it's for, but it's not enlivening.
Similarly, when there's too much abandon and disregard for form, things seem dishevelled and uncared for.
Some art has been created to communicate something important, a point we need to know about, a moment in time culturally that the artist wanted intentionally for us to see and remember. Some artwork is political, some is conceptual. There is no end to the variety of communication. I've always been drawn to the heart of things. The spirit. An old oak table covered in marks from families and friends over a hundred years, these things speak to me, plastic just doesn't.
It doesn't matter how many interiors magazines I see them doing great things with plastic, I'm not their customer. It's too clean, I don't feel relaxed.
People often doubt their artistic expression because they've been shown so much art and design that is highly strategic and considered, highly marketed, and everyone is supposed to agree to its value in the world. When people then attempt to coax something into being that comes from within, it seems like it doesn't measure up.
I feel we fear the dishevelled at this point in time, but there may and I'm sure have been times where people feared order and structure. In terms of the emotional landscape I see, I witness people incredibly held together, almost like they're gasping for air, holding...it...all. We are at an all time high in mental health crisis world wide, so I feel my role right now, as we all have a role, is to encourage a wider emotional range. I advocate for messy feelings and will always remind you that being human is a wild ride, you might as well feel all the wild textures.
I spoke with a lovely man recently who was telling me about his girlfriend's growing jewellery business, her work is very beautiful, and I offered my cheer and enthusiasm. He told me he's trying to get her to work directly into the wax, but that she prefers to sketch the design before she attempts to realise it in wax, and later metal.
I truly don't believe that either way is superior of inferior. Both are important. I think it's good to know which one we naturally lean more towards so that we can support our artistic practice, as well as ourselves in our lives in general.
Do you fear the spontaneity of direct work? Improvisation? Or perhaps the thought of planning scares you? I am the latter ! This isn't an opportunity to judge ourselves, more a measuring stick to see what could use some nourishment.
The artistic path is holding the tension between the duality of control and spontaneity, and not trying to neaten it. We have to be able to hold the big energy required of us. The uncertainty is electric and will keep us awake at night, there will be tears shed and there will be so many hum drum boring days we will be brought to our knees. And then, if we can relax, something might shift and a felt sense of full body pleasure will be all that is happening. Mmmm, that's good. Then, anxiety will come, then ideas, then another project and on and on and on.
There is nowhere to land and no place that will be final, which is why holding the tension between the extremes is the initiation that brings the goods.
If you, dear one reading this, are stuck in your life, or with your creative practice, I offer you this to consider.
Bring to mind the most challenging edge in your life right now, a relationship, a situation, an addiction you're struggling with, and then bring to mind the thing that feels the most in flow, the most natural and spontaneous. Now, consider that they are merely the two furthest poles of your experience. This rich, vast, varied human experience.
Do you have a secret feeling that life will be all good once the challenge stops? Once that is sorted out then you'll be able to be in flow?
Well, this isn't the case.
(Please note, I'm referring to every day life challenges here, I'm not referring to situations of harm or abuse or anything else that would require our immediate attention)
So, bringing this back to our creative practice, and making it frankly juicier, more embodied and part of our integrated and emotionally intelligent human experience, here's how this relates...
We have been conditioned to view our lives both internally and externally in terms of all the grit having been neatened out. This means that we UNCONSCIOUSLY attribute challenging emotions and psychic material as FAILURE and that we're not thriving. This couldn't be further from the truth. The more energy there is, the more energy there is. Emotions aren't good or bad, they're energy.
The most integrated people are those who aren't afraid of their own pain, and I would say pleasure. Those who are willing to go to the underworld of their own experience and find those gold coins, that those who know how to see them will see them. The trick, is coming back from the intensity, from the high, or the low, and using the wisdom of the experience in our lives.
Consider again the two poles of contrasting experience. There is also the space between, which isn't really space at all, not in the sense that it's void.
The problem is, we continuously skirt around our own pain and discomfort because we feel ill equipped to hold the tension of it in our lives as well as everything else we have to do, right? Healing is a full time job!
When we suppress one feeling we suppress FEELING. Given that art making is a direct result of internally experienced material, as wonderfully mundane as the natural inspiration of being alive, or as deeply challenging as feeling through and integrating deep grief and loss... feeling is paramount.
So the first challenge is that we believe we have to be 'put together' both physically and emotionally all the time, which is, well, not very interesting, is it, really?
This means we deny, suppress or project emotions that fall outside of such a limited scope that we've set for ourselves. This is what I think of when I see little girls in lovely dresses that aren't allowed to get dirty or jump in puddles...because they have to look neat. For the internal world, that's a disaster. The deep realms of the wild galactic soul care not for money in the bank, how things look or what our opinions are, they're operating with much more fiery material than all that.
The second challenge then, is that when we try to pursue a creative challenge or project, there are so many emotions we've been blocking off for years. These are mostly frustration, grief, anger and fear, but could manifest in any number of ways.
When these emotions arise, as they will, we would rather procrastinate, because the ' feeling and busting through frustration' muscle is weak. The 'my work is crap compared to other peoples work on Instagram' feeling is too much to feel through, so there's temptation to stop, and get distracted.
The more we feel the uncomfortable emotions that come up when we make creative work, the better we become at letting them be.
Dear one reading this, please know that if you have feelings of unworthiness or insecurity around your work, this is absolutely normal. Try to hold them in the way you would hold the feelings of an upset child. They are simply what is there. They will move in a few moments if you let yourself feel them.
I should also say, that if the feelings of unworthiness are due to a legitimate lack of skill, well then take some lessons, get skilled. Either way - do something.
This will help clear the channels so that more sensation, emotion and embodiment will come through, and this will of course include your desires to create, your natural inspiration as your response to this life.
Dear one, what you have to offer is unique, it can't ever be replaced or copied, it is your medicine.
By allowing the two furthest poles of your experience to exist in their duality, as they are, we strengthen our capacity to hold energy, and to receive more. More will mean more, so that could very well include discomfort and pain, as we're feeling what was there all along but we couldn't let ourselves feel it. I am always finding new layers of grief as well as deeper layers of love and belonging, often in the same crisis ;)
It should be stressed, that you never need to feel these feelings alone if you aren't able to or don't want to. There are countless skilled magicians in the form of somatic therapists, psychotherapists and many other healers, so please find the support you need, so that you can embody more and more of this human experience, and if you feel moved to, to share your unique perspective in whatever form is your medicine.
With love,
Loren
654 comments
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I am Elizabeth Diesta by name and I have been playing euro million for many years now and I have never won anything instead I wasted money in buying ticket, on one faithful day, I saw some guys that also play euro million, I heard them discussing how they won 2.8million dollars with the help of DR. HUNTER ALVIN I now went where they were seating discussing it, on getting there I excuse one of the guys and asked him about the DR HUNTER ALVIN that helped them won 2.8million dollars, he told me everything about DR.HUNTER ALVIN and he went further to tell me how he has been helping them and I said within my mind that i’m going to give him a trial although I doubted him and I really contacted him and it worked out for me and I won the sum of 2,000,000 dollars,right now i’m very happy for the good work he has done for me and I promised to share his good work to the whole world, I want to use the opportunity to tell everyone that need his help to contact him on this email: huntersalvinsolution@gmail.com .. This man will make you rich and his powers are so powerful… CONTACT HIM NOW: huntersalvinsolution@gmail.com ..
Now You Can Stop Your Break Up, Divorce or Lovers Rejection… Even If Your Situation Seems Hopeless! My husband said he no longer loved me at the end of January this year and i was hurt and heart broken i felt like my life was about to end and I almost committed suicide, I was emotionally down for a very long time. Thanks to a spell caster called DR HUNTERS ALVIN, which I meet online, on one faithful day, as I was browsing through the internet and I came across a lot of testimonies about this particular spell caster. Some people testified that he brought their Ex lover back, some testified that he restores womb, cure cancer and other sickness, some testified that he can cast a spell to stop divorce and so on. I also come across one particular testimony and it was about a woman called Tracey Hilton, she testified about how he brought back her Ex lover in less than 2 days and at the end of her testimony she dropped DR HUNTERS ALVIN mail address. After reading all these,I decided to give it a try and I contacted him via email and explained my problem to him. In just 48 hours, my husband came back to me and we solved our issues, we are even happier than before. DR HUNTERS ALVIN is really a gifted man and I will not stop testifying about him because he is a wonderful man and so powerful… If you have any problem and you are looking for solution to solve all your problems. Great DR HUNTERS ALVIN can also offer any types of help like Reuniting of marriage and relationship, Curing of all types of Diseases, Court Cases, Pregnancy Spell, Spiritual protection,winning of lottery and lot’s more. you can contact him on Email: huntersalvinsolution@gmail.com , if you have any problem contact him, I give you 100% guarantee that he will help you.
HELLO EVERYONE ACCROSS THE GLOBE:
GET YOUR PROBLEM SOLVE TODAY WITH MY PROFESSION IN ANY SPIRITUAL SPELL, MY NAME IS DR HUNTER ALVIN, AND THIS IS MY EMAIL: huntersalvinsolution@gmail.com ,I LIVE IN AFRICA , AM ALWAYS AVAILABLE TO RENDER YOU HELP. WITH EXPERIENCE OF 45 YEARS IN SPELL CASTING AND HERBAL MEDICINE TO CURE ANY KIND OF DISEASE THAT YOU MAY HAVE, CONTACT ME ON ANY KIND OF ISSUES YOU MAY HAVE THAT IS BOTHERING YOU I CAN HELP YOU SOLVE PROBLEMS AS LISTED BELOW:
(1) If you want your Divorced Husband/Wife back.
(2) If you want your Ex Boyfriend/Girlfriend back.
(3) If you always have Bad Dreams and you don’t know the interpretations.
(4) You want to be Promoted in your Office.
(5) You want Women/Men to run after you.
(6) If you want Children of your choice.
(7) You want to be Rich Forever.
(8) You want to tie your Husband/Wife to be yours forever.
(9) Or you have been scammed and you want to Recover your Lost Money.
(10) If you are in Love with Someone and you want Him/Her to fall in Love with you Totally.
(12) If you want a Tame my Lover Spell.
(13) If you want a Make Me Sexy Spell.
(14) If you want a STOP His Roving Eyes Spell.
(15) If you want a Rejuvenated Love Spell.
(16) If you want a Be Faithful To Me Spell.
(17) If you want to prevent or keep others from talking about my man.
(18) Remove Bad Spells from Homes, Business & Customer Attraction etc.
(19) Stop your Marriage or Relationship from Breaking Apart.
(20) Read all your problems before you even mention them to me.
(21) Remove the Back Spot that keeps on taking your Money Away.
(22) Find out why you are not progressing in Life and the Solution.
(23) Eliminate in family fights.
(24) Ensure Excellent School Grades even for Children with Mental Disabilities.
(25) Get promotion you have Desired for a Long Time at Work or in your Career.
(26) Heal Barrenness in Women and Disturbing Menstruation.
(27) Get you marriage to the Lover of your Choice.
(28) Guarantee you Win the Troubling Court Cases.
(39) Get the Spell to Win a Lottery.
(30) Diabetes Cure and Remedy.
(31) Herpes Cure and Remedy.
(32) Hepatitis A, B, C Cure and Remedy.
(33) Cancer cure Cure and Remedy.
(34) HIV/ AID Cure and Remedy.
(35) Syphilis Cure and Remedy e.t.c….YOU CAN CONTACT ME WITH MY DETAILS BELOW, I WILL BE GLAD TO RENDER YOU MY HELP IF YOU HAVE ANY PROBLEM WHICH YOU NEED TO SETTLE URGENTLY…
WELCOME TO DR HUNTER ALVIN HEALING HOME / SOLUTION CENTER….. THIS IS MY EMAIL ADDRESS ONCE AGAIN: huntersalvinsolution@gmail.com CONTACT ME TODAY AS I HAVE ANSWERS TO ALL PROBLEMS….
I have had my fair share of emotional traumas and failed relationships. There is nothing more to life than staying hopeful even when we expect the worse. I was lucky once more when i met my fiancé and he was all that i ever wanted in a man. I was always treated right by him and i had always believed we are ending up together. Unknown to me that devil had struck even before my wishes came through. He was taken from me by another bitch and it was hell for me knowing he had left me. I was so sure that he didn’t do so with his clear mind because everything seems award when it occurred. So i had to look for help and I found dr isikolo who revealed to me that my man was hypnotized with charms by the said lady. He worked for me and got my man back to me and now we are back again. I cant be thankful enough knowing everything Dr isikolo promised was fulfilled and knowing the result of his works manifests after 48 hours. No lies about all you will ever hear about him and what he does. Contact him now if need be and be fully assured he wont fail you. Text him on WhatsApp via +2348133261196 or visit his webpage (https://isikolo-temple.com)
It’s A Great News to Celebrate with you Viewer, I am truly living the life I have been looking for after Dr Kachi made me win my Powerball Lottery, I had been playing for a good 8years. It was a friend of mine who directed me to Dr Kachi because my friend Nancy has won the Powerball so many times and I don’t know how she got the match six numbers to play and win a very big amount of money, then the last time she won the Mega Millions I told her to tell me the secret on how she win. That’s when she started telling me about the powerful Dr Kachi who has been her helper. and she gave me Dr Kachi Text/Call Number:+1 (209) 893-8075 I texted the greatest spell caster Dr Kachi and I told him I wanted to win my Powerball with his spiritual rightful number and he told me I should give him 2hours to get everything done and hopefully Dr Kachi do it, and give me a winning numbers to play my ticket that make me win the prize of $223.3 Million Dollars Powerball lottery Tuesday i bought the winning ticket at the Carlie C’s IGA store in Hope Mills, that changed my life for good today, and Dr Kachi a strong spell caster and trust him when he says the results will manifest it’s Truth, God bless you Dr kachi for your kind help also can Email: drkachispellcast@gmail.com or website: https://drkachispellcaster.wixsite.com/my-site